Unveiling the Power of Reframing: The Ultimate Hack to Soothe Back-to-School Anxiety

Ah, the return to school—a moment of excitement for some, a source of anxiety for others. As summer fades into memory, many children eagerly anticipate reuniting with friends, diving back into learning, and reestablishing a familiar routine.

Yet, for others, the thought of stepping through those school gates triggers stress, fear, and trepidation. According to a survey by youth mental health charity stem4, nearly 30% of secondary school students actively avoid attending school due to the anxiety it provokes.

As the school year looms on the horizon, countless parents across the UK find themselves grappling with how to ease their child’s back-to-school jitters. Enter Fiona Yassin, international family therapist and the visionary founder of The Wave Clinic, an independent haven specialising in trauma, eating disorders, and mental health treatment for teenagers, young adults, and families. With over 25 years of experience, Yassin has distilled six straightforward strategies to support anxious children. Among them, one stands out as a game-changer—an elegantly simple yet profoundly effective technique designed to calm back-to-school nerves.

The Revolutionary Technique: Reframing Emotions

Yassin emphasizes a crucial insight: children and teens must learn that it’s possible to hold multiple emotions simultaneously. "Often, when faced with a negative emotion, we might say, 'I am very nervous,' 'I feel anxious,' or 'I am overwhelmed,' as if that one feeling engulfs our entire being," she explains. Instead, Yassin advises, parents should guide their children to say, “Part of me is nervous,” “Part of me feels anxious,” or “Part of me is overwhelmed.”

This shift in language—a cornerstone of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)—is more than semantics. It’s a powerful tool that helps prevent the spiral into catastrophic thinking. By reframing their emotional landscape, children can recognize that anxiety doesn’t define them and can coexist with other, more positive emotions.

Yassin encourages parents to help their children explore what else they might be feeling. "There might be excitement about starting school, but the positive emotions are overshadowed by anxiety," she says. A parent might gently prompt, "I can hear that part of you is feeling anxious about going back to school. I wonder what other feelings might be there too?" This approach empowers children to manage big, intimidating moments with a balanced perspective.

Five Essential Strategies for Easing Back-to-School Anxiety

1. Listen Deeply:
Rather than trying to alter your child’s emotions or projecting your own, focus on helping them feel truly heard. When children feel secure in sharing the small things, they’re more likely to come to you with the big stuff.

2. Empower Their Inner Strength:
Ask your child about any coping strategies they’ve already developed. Encouraging them to find their own solutions fosters independence and resilience.

3. Reflect on Past Successes:
Children often imagine worst-case scenarios. Counter this by reminding them of past triumphs, reassuring them that they are capable of handling new challenges.

4. Offer Practical Support:
Identify specific aspects of school that trigger anxiety and provide practical advice. Whether it’s making friends or navigating the school day, a few well-placed tips can make a world of difference.

5. Prepare Together:
Ease the transition by familiarizing your child with the school routine. Whether it’s practicing the commute, checking the fit of their uniform, or reviewing the school’s requirements, preparation breeds confidence.

What Not to Do When Addressing Back-to-School Anxiety

Avoid Sharing Your Own School Stories:
While it’s tempting to relate by sharing your own experiences, resist the urge. This can inadvertently minimize your child’s feelings. Instead, remain present, actively listen, and reassure them that you are fully there for them.

Never Shut Down the Conversation:
Phrases like “Don’t be silly” or “Everyone feels this way” may be well-intentioned, but they dismiss your child’s unique experience. Keep the dialogue open, ensuring your child feels validated and supported.

As we stand on the brink of a new school year, remember that your child’s anxiety is real, but it doesn’t have to be all-consuming. With Fiona Yassin’s expert guidance, you can help them navigate these emotions, turning anxiety into an opportunity for growth, resilience, and self-discovery.