Preparing Your Child for a New Sibling: Expert Tips and Advice

Preparing for the arrival of your first baby is a whole different ball game to preparing for the second, third, fourth…. And one of the biggest reasons why is the fact that there’s another child, or children, to consider. Before the arrival of a second child for example, it’s extremely common for parents to feel guilty about the fact that when the baby arrives their firstborn won’t receive 100% of their attention and, gulp, love.

Parenting expert & Founder of Littlelist, Katie Massie-Taylor, provides her top tips on how to prepare your children for a new baby, including her insights on how your children may be feeling, and practical tips to get them ready for their new brother or sister.

Breaking the news of a new arrival to your children will vary hugely depending on their age and understanding of the situation;

Toddlers to Pre-schoolers

If you’ve fallen pregnant when your child, or children, are toddlers, infants or even pre-schoolers, books can be a lovely way of helping them to understand the fact that you’re carrying another baby, and that they can expect a sibling.

One particular book, There’s a House Inside My Mummy, includes simple yet effective descriptions of the older sibling talking to their sibling in the mummy’s tummy before concluding with a picture of the family of four which includes the newborn.

Reading a book like this (and there are loads of different ones to choose from) with your younger child can help to explain while also reassuring them at such a time of change.

School Age Children

While it will be easier for school-aged children to understand what is happening, the fact that their emotions are more developed could mean that they might find the impending change scary, or worry that it will impact their relationship with you.

The key here is making them feel involved in what’s going on rather than a spare part.

Pick a good time to sit down with them on your own and break the news. You may want to use props, such as a t-shirt which says ‘Big Brother’ or the scan picture to help broach the subject. However you decide to do it as long as you deliver the message with lashings of love and reassurance they’ll quickly get used to the idea.

Teenage Children

Teenagers will have no problem understanding the news, but their hormones may make it more complicated for them to get their head around emotionally.

There are a huge range of greeting cards you can buy with messages to break the news, and by choosing one that focuses on the positive impact it will have on their life will help to set a positive tone. For example, ‘Congratulations, you’re going to be a big sister!’

Choose a moment to break the news when you’re not disturbed by other people or distractions, and make it a celebration of them becoming a sibling rather than of you having a new baby. Explaining to them that you’ll need their help, and even getting them involved with things like buying baby stuff and shortlisting names will really help too.

girl with baby doll

How to Get Your Children Excited for their New Sibling

Expecting a new baby is huge news for you to process, and likewise for children, it can prompt a whirlwind of emotions, from excitement to fear to trepidation. Not knowing what changes this will bring accounts for a large chunk of the fear element, so it’s a good idea to talk about the positive changes a lot and get them involved.

For younger children buying them a new doll so that they can look after their own ‘baby’ as you grow yours can also help them to process what is happening while feeling involved.

Older children often enjoy buying a toy or item of clothing to give to the baby when it arrives, or helping to get the nursery ready.

Many families buy a present from the baby to give to its older sibling when it’s born too. The bigger the toy, the stronger the bond, right?!

And for much older children, ensuring they feel part of the decision-making when it comes to baby names and buying equipment can help to give them a role and ensure they don’t feel like an outsider.

Introducing Children to Their Newborn Sibling

Whether your child first meets their new sibling in hospital or when you bring them home, the key for children of any age is to make sure they don’t feel like they’ve suddenly been pushed out, or usurped by the new arrival.

If your child is visiting you and the new arrival in hospital, try to make sure you’re not holding the baby when they first arrive so that you can give them a big cuddle before you both hold their new sibling together.

This will reassure them that their bond with you hasn’t changed, and help them to see that the new arrival is no threat to your relationship. It will also make them feel involved in the whole process.

How Your Children Can Help With the New Arrival

Ensuring that your child, or children, feel involved with their new sibling is key (and may also save you a lot of leg work when you’re struggling with sleep deprivation!).

Toddlers can help by being your ‘nappy assistant’ during change time; fetching you nappies and wipes.

Older children will love helping to push the buggy when you’re out for walks, or helping you to dress the baby and entertain them by singing songs or showing them their toys.

Teenagers will be an invaluable second pair of hands, and depending on their age many will be capable of helping you with most of the necessary baby admin. The key is to make sure they feel needed and involved.

We all know that children are amazing but very complicated little creatures, so the key to preparing them for their new brother or sister is to make sure you’re aware of the mixture of emotions that they may be feeling, and offer reassurance.

We all do things differently when it comes to parenting, but as long as your child feels involved in the whole process and needed, then everything else will come naturally (aka be utter chaos - but don’t worry, you’ll survive!).